My To Do List

To Do lists.

You either love them or hate them.

I love them when I am crossing things off - nothing like that sense of accomplishment, regardless of how mundane the items.

I will admit though that I hate to make to do lists.

Creating lists require me to be organized in my thoughts.....to know what it is I want to accomplish.

The sheer idea of thinking of all the mundane things that need to get done - clean the refrigerator, sort the mail, stop at the dry cleaner, return x,y, & Z to the store...etc, etc, etc - drives me crazy.

Life is too mundane to begin with.  Why would I want to make a list outlining the numerous mundane things I have to do?

Nope....all the fantastic feeling of accomplishment crossing things off the "to do" list doesn't outweigh the cons of completing a "to do" list for me.

Unless....

Unless it is something larger than the mundane tasks.

Unless....

Unless it is about living life.

Unless....

Unless it is about finding joy in those mundane parts of life.

I am a follower of the blog and website Tiny Budda  and am inspired daily by quotes, words of wisdom, various posts about life in general.

This week I came across a post entitled "10 Simple Ways to Enjoy Life's Journey More."

Now here was a "to do" list I could get my arms around, that I could get excited about, that I looked forward to accomplishing.

Simple things like - 
Take a discovery walk.   Today, while I was lying on the couch with my daughter, just enjoying a quiet moment together, I was taken aback by the sun streaming through our front window with the orange red burnt leaves blowing in the wind.  This moment reminded of my "Enjoy Life's Journey To Do List",  so I asked Rachel to join me on a walk around the neighborhood.  I usually run along the route we took....in the shadowy sun-rising morning hour....and never really took time to enjoy my neighbors gardens, the fall decorations, etc.  What a joy to walk alongside my bubbly 9 year old as she chatted about life as a 9 year old....with her hand in mine.  Wonderful.

Take lessons or classes  My children certainly do this - Rachel takes cello , her brother attends circus camps, all the kids have attended various camps/lessons for sports and music.  Seems so simple to sign them up.  At what point did I decide that I no longer needed to learn new things?  Guess what.  That is ending this week.  I've decided to sign up for a Rock Climbing class.  And I'm also toying with the idea of learning how to play another instrument in addition to those piano lessons I took as a child ...maybe the guitar or violin.  And a language would be fun....perhaps Italian so I can dream about an exotic vacation in the far, far, far-off future?  

Keep a gratitude journal  Such an easy thing to do but something I had never done until a friend suggested it several years ago.  What a difference it made in my outlook.  At first, I really had to think about my day and what I could be grateful for.  But a few days in, I began to notice myself showing gratitude throughout the day....as those little things we so very often overlook became so evident.  Talk about changing your mindset.  This was a game changer for me.....until I became to comfortable and stopped writing them down.  And then I had a difficult situation thrown in my lap that lead to a very tough few months - a time when I probably needed a gratitude journal more than ever - but it was something that was completely forgotten about.     Today I began to take note again....and it was the little things like the sun streaming in the window, the squeeze of my daughter's hand in mine, a little baby overjoyed with glee when a dog appeared at the park during our walk.  Simple things....things we overlook.....and when we take notice....have the ability to change our outlook.

And my favorite on the list?
Bike more.  OK, twist my arm!

My least favorite on the list?
Create a detailed plan for your day.  Oh no!  Not create a "to do list" within my no to do list list??  Further inspection does not indicate creating a list of the mundane things you need to get done but to make sure that you include those really amazing experiences you want to enjoy so those mundane items don't take over.  OK,....I can accept this one.

My plan is to check off all the items on this list.....over and over again.  This isn't a list that will get crumpled up and thrown away when it is completed.  No way.  This is a list that will continue to tell my life's story.  To help me enjoy the journey.  Yes, there will still be all those mundane things in life that have to be done, but in the end, it is the list of how I enjoyed my life that will matter.

Who wants to join me??

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss

December 31st....the last day of 2011.

It has been a long year - a year filled with highs and lows.  Something I suspect we all have.

That quote in the title summarizes a lot of what I have been feeling this year.  Sadness for a lot of wonderful experiences that ended - adventures with friends, a relationship, training for races, watching my children move on in life, friends moving to new cities, milestones coming and going ....but all in all, a ton of  wonderful memories to embrace!

We all have accomplishments - some of those may just have been making it through a particular day and others may have been completing a challenge we never thought we were capable of.   Some accomplishments were filled with sadness and regret....others with joy and triumph.

Regardless, we survived each high and each low.

As I reflect back upon the roller coaster ride I endured this year,  each one of those ups, downs, twists and turns were not accomplished alone.  I was surrounded by love and support from old and new friends - many made through my involvement with LIVESTRONG, others through random meetings (again, I truly believe things in life happen for a reason), and many others virtual strangers.

I appreciate each and everyone of you - my blog readers, my #plankaday partners, my running friends, my LIVESTRONG friends, my partners in crime (you know who you are), those that have known me since grade school (and unfortunately have the pictures to prove it), those I work with, and those that only know me from social media.  Without each of you, I would not have survived the lowest lows in life or have the successes I was blessed with this year.

I welcome 2012 with open arms....and although I will continue running for LIVESTRONG, I am considering 2012 as the Year of the Bike.  Yes, a new challenge....and one that scares the daylights out of me.  But, my focus will be in cycling....with a few half marathons thrown in for cross-training.  More to come! 

 

As I scoured my list of favorite quotes, I couldn't find just one that summarized how I am feeling as a new page begins at midnight.  So, I am sharing several....as my parting comments for 2012.

And one last comment from Barb for 2012 ~

....instead of celebrating tonight at midnight, consider celebrating each and every midnight....reflect upon the successes/fails of each day, have gratitude and create a goal/resolution for the new day to come!  CELEBRATE LIFE!!

“Begin at once to live and count each separate day as a separate life.” -Seneca

"The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment." -Pema Chodron

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." -Charles Swindoll

"If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us." -Daisaku Ikeda

"Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out." ~John Wooden

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant." -Robert Louis Stevenson

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself." -Lululemon

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” -Pericles

"It Is Not the Length of Life, But Depth of Life" - a tribute to Sean

My guest blogger is my LIVESTRONG friend I made while running the Philadelphia LIVESTRONG Challenge 5K in 2010.  Those that know us find it amazing that we only met a little over one year ago....but it is as though we have been friends for life. I have never laughed so hard as I have when I am around Christine.....to the point that my belly aches and I have almost fallen off my bike.She is one of my many sounding boards, a major component of my LIVESTRONG support system....and a CANCER HATER!

What follows is a euology she delivered yesterday at the funeral of her friend Sean, who fought bravely against cancer but ran out of time.  

What she shares applies to each and everyone of us.  Take a look at your own life - are you living it fully?

It is not the length of life, but depth of life.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Take good care of your body.

Your body is the greatest tool you'll ever own. It impacts every step you take and every move you make. Nourish it, exercise it, rest it.

Spend as much time as possible with the people you love 

 Human beings are emotional creatures.  Family and close friends makeup the core of your emotional support system.  The more you nuture them, the more they will nuture you.

"I would not be anywhere else than with my child who was desperately sick and fighting for his life. Every night and most days I stayed with him, watching him battle to live. Finally the day before he lost his battle, he looked at me and said 'my poor mommy'"

Be a part of something you believe in

This could be anything. Some people take active role in their council, some find refuge in religious faith, some join social clubs supporting causes they believe in, and others find passion in their careers.  In each case the psychological outcome is the same. They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in. This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives.

"Sean was going to be an honorary chair of the 2012 American Cancer Society's Daffodil Days campaign. It was something he was excited to get involved with. The campaign will now be dedicated to his honor."

Excel at what you do 

There's no point in doing something if you aren't going to do it right. Excel at your work and excel at your hobbies. Develop a reputation for yourself, a reputation for consistent excellence.

"Sean never saw limitations w/his niece Morgan Stephanie. He never thought about what she couldn't do, never talked about what her limits would be. He only imagined what she could accomplish. He saw no boundaries in life only the possibility of completing anything. I published my Livestrong ride of 2008 on Facebook and Tracey told Sean she wanted to run the 5k in his honor. He said I want to do it with you. She told him she would walk w/him, but he insisted on jogging and he crossed the finish line receiving his yellow rose RUNNING all smiles."

Be self-sufficient

Freedom is the greatest gift. Self-sufficiency is the greatest freedom.

"Freedom to Sean could have been being on an open road, starting, stopping, choosing a route to drive.  It could be from 2009 to 2011 when he was in remission of cancer.  I hope that it is now, being free of pain, free of cancer, and free of being scared.  I know in my heart that I will always miss and long for my brother and husband, but again freedom.  I am free to love him, free to replay all of my memories, free to know I will someday meet w/him again."

Build a comfortable, loving household 

Home is where the heart is. Your home should be comfortable and lined with love. It should be a place that brings the whole family together.

"A house is not a home until it is filled with love. Each and every home Sean entered, lived in, or visited was instantly a home."

Respect elders. Respect minors. Respect everyone

There are no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your big brother or husband.

"Sean was kind to every person he met, whether young or old, rich or poor. He treated others the way he would expect his sisters or wife to be treated. Sean always had the patience of a saint, it showed through the loving relationships he had with his nieces and nephews."

Mix it up. Try different things

 Seek as many new life experiences as possible and be sure to share them with the people you love. After all, your life's story is simply a string of experiences. The more experiences you have, the more interesting your story gets.

Take full ownership of your actions

 Either own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.

Listen more. Talk less

The more you listen and the less you talk, the more you will learn and the less you will miss.

"Sean loved in the last few months, the people who just came to talk.  He listened intently and loved the talking."

Savor the natural joys of simple pleasures

They come in the form of simple pleasures and they appear right in front of you at various locations and arbitrary times.  They are governed by Mother Nature and situational circumstance and captured by mindful awareness.  It’s all about taking a moment to notice the orange and pink sunset reflecting off the pond water as you hold hands with someone you love.  Noticing these moments and taking part in them regularly will bring unpredictable bursts of happiness into your life.

"It is really a shame that we sometimes need a life changing event to help us appreciate moments in our lives. Sometimes the silver lining that comes from the passing of a friend or loved one is the realization that our time in this world is not infinite. We need to savor every moment that our lives afford us the opportunity to experience. Sean lived his life this way. He taught us to take every chance, dance every dance and live EVERY moment. In just the last few years, Sean experienced so many great things that should inspire us to LIVE FOR THE MOMENT. Whether it was starting his own business or supporting cancer research, he did it with an enthusiasm and passion that was unmatched. We are all blessed to have known Sean and I hope we are all inspired by his courage and positive attitude to enjoy every moment life has to offer. I know we will all live our lives SeanSTRONG."

Leave time for spontaneous excursions

Sometimes opportunity knocks at unexpected times. Make sure you have enough flexibility in your schedule to respond accordingly.

"Growing up my son, Sean always would say 'dad look at that truck going down the road.' As Sean began driving he would work around trucks. Before you knew it, Sean called me to say 'I got a job driving a tractor trailer for some company and I'm going to Delaware tomorrow.' I said Go for it! That was the start, then came California and British Columbia and it never stopped."

BE HERE NOW

Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don't miss it.

A Word of Consolation

If a tiny baby could think, it would be afraid of birth. To leave the only world it had known would seem a kind of death. But immediately after birth the child finds itself in loving arms, showered with affection and cared for at every moment.

Passing through death is really a birth into a new and better world.  Those who are left behind should not grieve as if there were no hope.  Life is changed, not taken away.  Our dear ones live on, in a world beautiful beyond anything we can imagine.

There they await the day when they will welcome us with joy.

In Sean's Own Words.-When he was re-diagnosed- "I am positive I can defeat this again. I have a lot of support of friends & family 24/7! Keep you posted! LIVESTRONG!"

'Sean NEVER gave up, he simply ran out of time, he simply ran out of time.'

My 8-year old Inspiriation

August....a month filled with both dread and joy. Every year August creeps up on me.....I suspect I am not alone.

August means the end of summer....back to school.....last minute vacations-which means extra work at work to prepare for said vacation or covering for others.  Budget time....the return of the college students - meaning the quiet laziness of the downtown area around the campus changes.....some may say it comes back to life but surprisingly, this city gal loves the relaxing feel....sitting outside at the coffee shop, meeting friends for a glass of wine or pint on the outdoor patios, going for ice cream or even lying in the grass in the middle of the downtown circle watching the clouds.

It also marks the 8th anniversary of the birth of my mini-me.....my red-headed fireball daughter that makes me laugh....a smile from her warms my soul.   She was an unexpected  present to Brian and I.  We had  planned on only two children but I can't imagine our family being complete without her.

I am realizing more and more each day that there was a plan for Rachel's arrival. She not only looks like me....but she compliments me. Rachel is 100% a free spirit.....maybe that's typical of red-heads.....her creativity, energy, and overall spirit keep me going on days I want to crawl back under the covers.   She finds joy in the littlest things....a bike ride to the crab apple tree down the street is worthy of a 20 minute story -or better yet a song or operetta - although the ride may have only been 2 minutes long.


This little 8 year old joined me on my trip to Philadelphia to participate in the LIVESTRONG Challenge....to recognize the anniversary of her Dad's passing and her birthday.  She jumped right in - first by creating a memory card for Brian to post on the LIVESTRONG Memory wall.

As we met up with our team in the hotel lobby for dinner due to a monsoon rain taking place outside (and a mini river flowing into the lobby), Rachel approached this as an opportunity.  She spent the evening approaching others with a variety of our team items - t-shirts, magnets, water bottles and even strawberry jam.  This little ball of fire raised over $150 for LIVESTRONG that evening.




The morning of the 5K she was tired from the trip and late night, but perserved anyways.....running/walking/and hula hooping (yes, hula hooping) the distance.  Rachel approached others effortlessly.  The joy she displayed all day long made the milestone of that particular day much easier to deal with.

Yep, hula hooping on a 5K!

And she finishes....on the 7th anniversary of her Dad's passing

That evening, she was off hula hooping in the lobby.....and raised yet another $25 for her hula hooping prowess.  She immediately handed the money to me so we could donate to LIVESTRONG.  A very selfless act on her behalf - and not one I can imagine many children doing when there is a nice big mall across the parking lot.

Raising money for LIVESTRONG....if only I could hula hoop too!

 Sunday morning - her birthday none the less - Rachel rose early and jumped on her bike to complete a 10 mile bike ride in "Hilly Philly".....in the rain....with the same effortless perseverance she diplays each and every day.

Crossing the finish line - on her 8th birthday

And she's off!

Still full of smiles & energy at the end

Riding in memory of her Dad 

This is just another reason WHY I am so passionate about LIVESTRONG.  How could I not be?  This little girl could be sad about missing out on memories with her Dad, but instead she turns what could have been a somber day into a day filled with joy.  Her thoughts are constantly on wanting to help others from losing their parents.  Instead she lives each day fully....no regrets....no sadness....only looking forward!

Rachel brings smiles to my face all day long....as I suspect she does with many other people.  She is a testament to LIVINGSTRONG.

I know a lot of you say I inspire you....but Rachel inspires ME!

This post isn't about fundraising but continuing to live life to it's fullest.  However, if you would like to support mine and Rachel's efforts to help families have a lifetime of memories together, please consider making a donation using the link below:
http://run.livestrong.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=436387&supid=227033402

And if you would like us to honor your loved one on our tribute wall or on my back as I run NYC, please leave me a comment.

Two Miles Downward....JUMPINGSTRONG

 "Do not be afraid of death.  Be afraid of the half-lived life."

1 mile = 5,250 feet....so 2 miles = 10,500 feet.

"What in the world is Barb doing?  She hasn't posted in a month and then she's giving us a math lesson?"

Just thought is was important to understand how far 2 miles was....so you could grasp the depth of my latest adventure.

I have not always been very adventurous.  Actually, I was always the one that needed a lot of convincing and was at the edge with one foot in and the other out.  However, as I have gotten older, adventure is much more my style.

I definitely give Cancer credit for this change in my outlook.  After watching so many suffer and have their lives stolen by cancer much to early in life, I have certainly become someone that often states "what are we waiting for?"

Although I have not always been adventurous, I have ALWAYS wanted to jump out of a plane....but out of respect for my spouse - he was an attorney with an full understanding of the risks involved - I never did.

Recently, my VERY adventurous, risk taking friend Kristin, sent me a note as she was preparing to head off  to skydive on her birthday back in April.  I was so tempted to join her but activities that weekend wouldn't allow me.  She came back with stories that only made me more interested in taking on this challenge.

Then a few weeks later, I hit an emotional bottom.  Just a lot of "stuff" and it was Kristin that was there to catch me before I fell any further.  She heard the desperation in my voice and showed up at my doorstep, sat with me for hours on my front porch as I was unable to control the tears and sobs, listened without judgment, and supported me as I worked through some very, very awful and dark times.  (Let me state for the record that I had the support of several friends during this period....you know who you are....and I love all of you!) And, over the next few weeks, as I was no longer drowning but had finally resurfaced, the subject of skydiving came up.

Why was I allowing this "stuff" to put MY life on hold?

What was I waiting for?

Certainly not the Barb you all know....letting life take over....but it happens to the best of us.  Slowly and surely, if we are not paying attention, you can very easily start putting your own life on hold.  I had allowed the negative aspects of life overshadow the positive aspects....and unfortunately, that still creeps in....I am certain we can all relate to that.

No more waiting.....I had been wanting to skydive for 25 years.....it was decided....I was going on my birthday....June 27th,

Kristin and I cleared our afternoon schedules for that day, and the exciting anticipation began to take over.

In true Barb fashion, my black weather cloud appeared on June 27th.  I awoke to thunder, lightening and pouring rain.  The forecast for that afternoon did not appear any better so our plans were scrapped.  Kristin however was not going to allow me to miss out on this adventure....so off we went a few days later.

As we drove the hour to Champaign, IL to the Illinois Skydiving Center (with my cancer hating red-headed daughter in tow), it struck me that I was not the least bit nervous.  When we arrived at the location and I was filling out what appeared to be a ream of paper filled with warnings and waiving a lot of rights, still no nervousness.

I met my Tandem Master, Ken....and of course we started laughing right from the start....Barbie & Ken....and still no nervousness.  Ken strapped on my gear, gave me instructions but never once did he make me feel nervous.  These guys were fantastic....full of energy and positive vibes. Within a few moments, we were loading onto the plane - a plane I may add that reminded me of Fantasy Island and Tatu "Boss, de plane, de plane."  Although I suppose that plane was more luxurious since mine had no seats....and somehow we squeezed in 4 parachuters, gear and a pilot.

 As we taxied through the corn fields, still no nervousness.  As we ascended into the sky, still no nervousness.  Then, at 5,000 feet, the door opened up and one of my fellow riders disappeared....OK, that made me a little nervous.  She just stood up and disappeared from my sight!

Moments before the big moment....with my new BFF

Another 5,000 feet and suddenly it was my time.  Tandem jumping requires a lot of trust....I had just met Ken yet he was strapped to my back and had my life in his hands.  It took me a long time of dating Brian before I trusted my life to him, yet an exchange of money and a brief little training...and I handed over my trust to Ken.

 Anyways, I allowed myself to trust Ken and followed his instructions.  I found myself sitting on the edge of the plane door, my feet hanging out of the plane as there was 2 miles of air between my feet and the ground.  Before I knew it, Ken leaned forward and we were out of the plane.

A bit breezy at 10,500 feet

Off we go!

 I cannot even describe the feeling of freedom and exhilaration I felt as we were free-falling through the air.  I was actually a bit disappointed when the parachute opened just 30 - 40 seconds later.  Funny, I thought the free-fall portion would be the part I would dislike but I loved it!  

 

The next 5 minutes I floated through the air with my new BFF Ken, laughing and chatting as we drifted back to Earth. 

 As soon as we landed, I was ready to jump back on that plane again.  Alas, I couldn't but I would have!

So, what next?  No idea.....but I am keeping my eyes open and will not postpone a dream ever again. 

On another note - I am just $100 shy of hitting the $8,000 fundraising mark for LIVESTRONG.  If you would like to lend your financial support to this outstanding organization....and my efforts of RunningSTRONG for Hope (another race on Sunday), please use the link below to make a donation.  THANK YOU!!

Barb's LIVESTRONG fundraising page