Tuesday, May 31, 2011

My Rant for the Week

"So, why are you single?"

I was asked this question 3 times over a 48 hour period of time.

Excuse me while I rant for a few moments....now is your opportunity to change to another web page.

I am single because CANCER SUCKS.....and stole the love of my life from me.  Shattered all my hopes and dreams.  Shattered the plans I had for my future when I said "I do".  Yes, I realize it was for better or worse (and believe me - there was better and worse along the way) and until death do us part....BUT, I had no idea death do us part would be so soon.

This is what I really wanted to SHOUT at the top of my lungs in response to this question.

No, instead I politely replied, "I have no idea why I'm single."

I mean seriously.....what kind of question is that to ask someone?  How many people will respond...."Oh, I choose to live my life in a lonely existence with plans to grow old alone."  SERIOUSLY!!

I have to admit....the third time I was asked this question, I almost cried.  It just touches a nerve - obviously.

So here is my public service announcement for today...please be mindful that single people are single for a variety of reasons.....and most do not want to be single.  The last thing we want is to be reminded by others in relationships that we are single.

So, just as we all know it is awful to ask a couple "why don't you have children" or "when are you going to have children" (we all realize that is rude to ask....right??), pointing out someone's personal status is just as awful.  There are so many reasons and circumstances.....and no one really likes to have these pointed out to them.

OK.....I'm done.  Thanks for putting up with another free counseling session for Barb!

Addendum to original post....

I do realize that I am a wonderful person with great attributes....I am kind, I am thoughtful, I am fun, I am strong, and most importantly....FABULOUS!  And, I do realize that when people ask this question, it IS a compliment because they are always surprised that a woman like myself is available.  But, it is still tough to hear....over and over again (especially 3 times in such a short time span).

I have mentioned to others that I question myself often why I am single.  Maybe my situation is intimidating, maybe I'm not convenient enough because I don't have every other weekend free like those with a shared custody situation, or maybe my fabulousness is just too overwhelming (I like to think this is it).  But, just remember.....if you are thinking it....the individual you are asking has probably asked themselves the same question a million times.

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