And so it begins...
A new year....
Filled with endless opportunities.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to 2012.
Thrilled to have made it past another holiday season. Don't get me wrong. I love Thanksgiving and Christmas.
This year just seemed tougher. Granted, I had my share of ups and downs throughout the year and the holidays have always been difficult with the lose of Brian, but this year just really seemed more difficult.
It got me thinking.
Brian passed away 7 years ago. Was this a "7 Year Itch?"
I was curious the true definition of "7 Year Itch." According to an internet search, it originally was "the inclination to become unfaithful after seven years of marriage." Further research discovered a more applicable definition - "an urge to move on from any situation."
2011 was the 7th anniversary of Brian's passing. 7 years of missing him....but for some reason this year was more difficult. I seemed to miss him around every corner I turned.
Perhaps the main reason for these feelings was the falling apart of a relationship that was very important to me....it truly was steps in the direction of finally moving forward.
The falling apart of that relationship caused me to realize how much I really missed Brian....and in retrospect, was it because I was upset about moving on? And the inability to move on?
Regardless....we are now deadhead into year 8....and it began with a haircut (yes, I know this sounds silly but it was very freeing and brought back a little bounce to my step....sassy Barb was back), signing up for a few 2012 LIVESTRONG events (one being a little bike ride across Iowa - uh oh), setting a few new goals for a new year (including taking 30 minutes a day devoted to reading a book)....and new traditions this past holiday season (one being ringing bells for Salvation Army).
I rang in 2012 with my 8 year old daughter as my teenage children have very busy social lives these days. Rachel and I had a blast - definitely the most memorable New Year Eve's since Brian's passing). We painted 2012 t-shirts, played new games, had a jump on one foot competition, ate chocolate fondue, and eventually after I begged Rachel, went to sleep at 1:30 am. I also learned that she describes everything as awesome.....but then again, life is pretty awesome, isn't it?
So 7 year itch? So long! On to 8 year beginning!