The Mustache Made Me Do It

We are just 10 days away from Movember.....no, that is not a typo. 

During November each year, men across the world grow mustaches - using their faces to raise money and awareness for mens health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.  Last year alone, Movember raised over $80 million which was then donated to various prostate cancer organizations around the world - including $3 million to LIVESTRONG.


Check out this video the history behind this groups efforts:
Behind the Moustache: The Movember Story | Break.com


Those that participate are MoBros.  There are plenty of women that want to support the cause because we love our MoBros.  I have lost two important men in my life to cancer - my father and my husband - and my father-in-law was recently diagnosis.

 I can't grow a Mo (the Australian lingo for a mustache) BUT I can certainly glue one on!

To support this important cause I've decided to make my little jog through the streets of NYC a little more interesting.  I'll be running the NYC Marathon in support of both LIVESTRONG and Movember.  I'll be sporting my yellow Team LIVESTRONG shirt while wearing a fake mustache.

But which mustache should I wear?  That I will let you all decide.


Below are several mustache designs.  Pick your favorite and made a donation in the amount referenced next to the design.  Donations can be made on my Movember page using this link:  Pick a Mustache for Barb

The most popular dollar amount donated ($25, $20, $15 or $5) will determine the winning Mo.

And of course, if you'd like to make an additional donation to support my efforts for LIVESTRONG and my final race of my "Coast to Coast" Tour, please do so here:
Support Barb's RunningSTRONG for Hope to benefit LIVESTRONG  


$25




$20



$15




$5

T-0....LIVESTRONG Challenge Weekend is Here!

Today is the day.

No more countdowns.


My bike has been shipped, my bags are packed. instructions for the grandparents on the kitchen counter, all kid activities coordinated.

Yep, I'm outta here.

Boarding a jet plane headed south.  Destination - Austin, TX.


Getting my LIVESTRONG fix.

Can't wait to be surrounded by the best support group ever - my LIVESTRONG family.  Those that "get it"....although I'm sure we all understand that cancer sucks....these folks understand the impact it has on everyday life.  They come out of the woodwork to give me virtual hugs via Facebook posts, texts, phone calls, tweets. Somehow they know when it's a bad day....even when sometimes I don't.

This is my 3rd year attending the Austin LIVESTRONG Challenge...and 3rd year qualifying for the Ride for the Roses Weekend.  A weekend of events for the top LIVESTRONG fundraisers.  I am certainly not the top - there are those that raise $30,000 and above on a routine basis.  But, what I love about my $11,000 raised is I do so without a fundraising event.  This is from friends, family and strangers reaching into their pockets to make $100, $50, $20, $10 donations because they all hate cancer and want to support myself and an outstanding organization.

I couldn't have done this without all of you!  Thanks to all of you for your support!

So looking forward to experiencing this weekend.  I'll be running a 5K and riding further than I've ever ridden before - 65 miles in Texas Hill Country.

This one's for Brian, my parents, my sister and all those we've lost to cancer.  And I'll have Brian along with me for the ride -

 

Be on the lookout for a post weekend update.  

Thanks again for all your support!

Is There ONE Positive Aspect of Being a Widow?

Curious, aren't you.  What in the world could possibly be positive about being a widow?  I will get to this....but please be patient....there is a method to my thought process, although it may not make sense at first.  A little background to start with..... 

A year ago at this time I was dealing with some very difficult personal issues...and found myself living life on a Tilt-a-Whirl.  I also was heading off to Austin, TX for the 2010 LIVESTRONG Challenge....and finding myself surrounded by my LIVESTRONG family, gave me the strength to slow that Tilt-a-Whirl down.

It was also upon the return from that trip that I embarked on something new...writing this blog.  Take a look back at one of my original posts - How LIVESTRONG Saved Me From the Tilt-a-Whirl

What began as a way for me to share details about my training and races throughout the year has evolved into something completely different.

Yes, I am still running my races....and training....and raising funds for LIVESTRONG...but my blog posts have become more "therapeutic" for me....and an opportunity for me to honestly and openly share what life as a widow is like.  It ain't pretty....at all.

Life has definitely been on and off the Tilt-a-Whirl this year.  Yet my friendships in and out of LIVESTRONG have allowed me to "stay afloat."

My 13 year old son asked me earlier this year what was different....I compared myself to treading water.  When you are constantly treading water, you get tired.  When you get tired, you start to go under the water, but you pull yourself up and keep treading water.  Eventually, you get so tired that you can't pull yourself up anymore...and you begin to drown.

Life - the loneliness, the single parenting 365 days a year, the juggling work and home, the broken refrigerator, the flooded basement, the flat tire, the dead battery, the shoveling snow, the school "craft" projects, carving out time to exercise, grocery shopping, laundry, etc, etc, etc....finally 7 years later had me "drowning."

A lot of life experiences were involved in creating that Tilt-a-Whirl and drowning feeling however as I reflect back, I realize that the largest contributing factor was allowing myself to lose a piece of me in a relationship that was very important to me.

And also in this reflection, I recognize that bouncing back from this relationship has been far more difficult than moving forward after the death of my spouse.

Not that losing my spouse was easy....but he left me loving me....never made me wonder what I could have done differently, what was wrong with me (which by the way, I know there is aboslutely nothing wrong with me...I'm fabulous....but we all wonder that from time to time), never caused me heartbreak, never caused me to provide an uncomfortable explanation to my kids or friends,and never, ever left me questioning my ability to trust.

As a widow, losing the love of your life does create some sort of guilt for wanting to move on....to be loved again.....to allow yourself to love again.  However, with this relationship, I finally opened myself to the idea I could love again.  And loving again didn't mean my love for Brian never existed.  That love will always be a part of me....ALWAYS.

Why am I sharing all this?  Well, yesterday I surprised my boys with a trip to St. Louis to see their favorite baseball team, the Philadelphia Phillies, take on the Cardinals in the playoffs.  (A team their dad loved...and passed this on to his children). A once in a lifetime opportunity for them since we live 13 hours away from Philadelphia.

Why am I sharing this with you?  Well, in order to get to St. Louis, I had to complete a drive I had not done since my break-up earlier this year.  And emotions I had been hiding away came pouring back.

And why am I sharing this with you?  Well, because I can feel the emotional Tilt-a-Whirl creeping up again....makes me a bit angry....why in the world do I feel this way for someone that didn't find me important enough to move mountains for me?  I....we all....deserve that.  But, sometimes your heart wrestles your brain and wins.

So what?  Well, thinking about writing my blog for a full year got me to re-read my years posts....and yep, great therapy.  And even better therapy, seeing my LIVESTRONG gang again next week.  Can't wait to have my LIVESTRONG fix!  These are the folks that get it...that have been impacted by cancer themselves - in a variety of ways - but all supportive of each other and the various challenges cancer has created for each of us.  Yet another reason I am so passionate about LIVESTRONG.

But most importantly, I want to share the light bulb that went off in my head during that emotional drive.  Being a widow is awful....nothing positive about it.....with the exception of the lesson I learned this year.  Being left behind by someone that loves you entirely....because they have NO control over their leaving you....is much easier to accept than being left behind by someone that loved you and HAD control over their leaving.

And as always, appreciate the love of your life.  Move mountains for them.  Make them feel as though they are the most important thing in your life - which they are!  And, most importantly, if you love someone, be sure they know it....and don't let them ever forget it!

A Day of Dispair that Didn't Turn into Days of Dispair

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." 

Yesterday was a rough day.

I have no idea why.

The day started well.

And nothing went wrong.

 

No bad encounters with other human beings.

 

No issues with kids.

 

No problems with my car.

 

No complaints or issues at work.

 

But.......

 

as time ticked on throughout the day,

 

a cloud of doom started forming in my mind.

 

Sadness started to sneak in.

 

Boredom and unhappiness with my life drifted in.

 

Feelings of my life wasting away seeped in.

 

Dispair of loneliness crept in.

 

Slowly....very slowly....so slowly I didn't realize it until I was home from work.

 

I escaped from the kids for a few moments....in the nick of time....and burst into uncontrollable tears.

 

But then I reached out.

I sent a note to a friend and posted a tweet.

Within moments I had notes back from my LIVESTRONG family friends.

Lifting my spirits.

Inspiring me.

Rekindling my inner spirit.

Reminding me to LIVESTRONG.

And off to the gym I dragged myself.

And I kicked that sadness' butt.....but only after after my "inner spirit rekindled" by friends....some I've never met before but we have a common bond with LIVESTRONG.

I chalk yesterday up to another day that cancer tried beating me down.....those feelings would never have existed if Brian, Mom, Dad and my sister were still here with me.

GO TO HELL CANCER!  

I have a lot of cancer hating ass kicker friends that LIVESTRONG......

And we will NOT let you impact our lives ANYMORE!

My 8-year old Inspiriation

August....a month filled with both dread and joy. Every year August creeps up on me.....I suspect I am not alone.

August means the end of summer....back to school.....last minute vacations-which means extra work at work to prepare for said vacation or covering for others.  Budget time....the return of the college students - meaning the quiet laziness of the downtown area around the campus changes.....some may say it comes back to life but surprisingly, this city gal loves the relaxing feel....sitting outside at the coffee shop, meeting friends for a glass of wine or pint on the outdoor patios, going for ice cream or even lying in the grass in the middle of the downtown circle watching the clouds.

It also marks the 8th anniversary of the birth of my mini-me.....my red-headed fireball daughter that makes me laugh....a smile from her warms my soul.   She was an unexpected  present to Brian and I.  We had  planned on only two children but I can't imagine our family being complete without her.

I am realizing more and more each day that there was a plan for Rachel's arrival. She not only looks like me....but she compliments me. Rachel is 100% a free spirit.....maybe that's typical of red-heads.....her creativity, energy, and overall spirit keep me going on days I want to crawl back under the covers.   She finds joy in the littlest things....a bike ride to the crab apple tree down the street is worthy of a 20 minute story -or better yet a song or operetta - although the ride may have only been 2 minutes long.


This little 8 year old joined me on my trip to Philadelphia to participate in the LIVESTRONG Challenge....to recognize the anniversary of her Dad's passing and her birthday.  She jumped right in - first by creating a memory card for Brian to post on the LIVESTRONG Memory wall.

As we met up with our team in the hotel lobby for dinner due to a monsoon rain taking place outside (and a mini river flowing into the lobby), Rachel approached this as an opportunity.  She spent the evening approaching others with a variety of our team items - t-shirts, magnets, water bottles and even strawberry jam.  This little ball of fire raised over $150 for LIVESTRONG that evening.




The morning of the 5K she was tired from the trip and late night, but perserved anyways.....running/walking/and hula hooping (yes, hula hooping) the distance.  Rachel approached others effortlessly.  The joy she displayed all day long made the milestone of that particular day much easier to deal with.

Yep, hula hooping on a 5K!

And she finishes....on the 7th anniversary of her Dad's passing

That evening, she was off hula hooping in the lobby.....and raised yet another $25 for her hula hooping prowess.  She immediately handed the money to me so we could donate to LIVESTRONG.  A very selfless act on her behalf - and not one I can imagine many children doing when there is a nice big mall across the parking lot.

Raising money for LIVESTRONG....if only I could hula hoop too!

 Sunday morning - her birthday none the less - Rachel rose early and jumped on her bike to complete a 10 mile bike ride in "Hilly Philly".....in the rain....with the same effortless perseverance she diplays each and every day.

Crossing the finish line - on her 8th birthday

And she's off!

Still full of smiles & energy at the end

Riding in memory of her Dad 

This is just another reason WHY I am so passionate about LIVESTRONG.  How could I not be?  This little girl could be sad about missing out on memories with her Dad, but instead she turns what could have been a somber day into a day filled with joy.  Her thoughts are constantly on wanting to help others from losing their parents.  Instead she lives each day fully....no regrets....no sadness....only looking forward!

Rachel brings smiles to my face all day long....as I suspect she does with many other people.  She is a testament to LIVINGSTRONG.

I know a lot of you say I inspire you....but Rachel inspires ME!

This post isn't about fundraising but continuing to live life to it's fullest.  However, if you would like to support mine and Rachel's efforts to help families have a lifetime of memories together, please consider making a donation using the link below:
http://run.livestrong.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=436387&supid=227033402

And if you would like us to honor your loved one on our tribute wall or on my back as I run NYC, please leave me a comment.

The Pebbles in Our Lives

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." ~Author Unknown

 

I came across this quote earlier this week and it really struck a chord with me.  

Each and everyone of us have our "pebbles"....some are more significant than others, but we all have them.

It is how we approach these "pebbles" that defines who we are, how we live our lives, how others look at us - for guidance, for inspiration, etc.

I am often told that I inspire others....this always amazes me as I have my share of "pebbles" each day, and I don't always approach them in a positive manner.  There are times I let those "pebbles" stick to the bottom of my foot and irritate me all day.  

I am often told that I am strong....again, this amazes me as I don't view myself as strong.  What everyone does not see are the emotional breakdowns I have, the discouragement I often feel, the negativity that sneaks in and takes over.

Those feelings of discouragement come and go, just as the periods of intense strength come and go.  Thankfully for the wonderful friends and support I have, the periods of discouragement are fleeting.

I don't consider myself any stronger than anyone else.  I have just been dealt some difficult situations but I truly believe we are all capable of surviving with the same ups and downs that I have.  

I also believe that we ALL have something going on in our lives that can knock us down at any moment. 

I compare it to that pebble that gets stuck in your shoe that becomes an irritation....and will continue to be an irritation unless you take time to stop, untie your shoe and shake it out.  If I don't stop to shake it out, the walk or run will be unsuccessful. 

The same goes with the "pebbles" in our lives.  Some are easy to ignore and persevere through.....others you need to stop, take a deep breath and "shake it out."  For me, shaking it out is sometimes writing my blog, reaching out to others, going  for a run.  But, the point is, I need to recognize those moments and make the effort to address it.

Surrounding yourself with positive supportive empathetic friends is important....and to recognize that those same friends have "pebbles" they need to shake out - regardless of how big or small.  The pebble is an irritation that is keeping them from crossing the mountain.

And keep in mind as you make judgments about others, you have NO idea what may be going on in their lives that is creating a change in an emotional or physical state.  Take a moment to reach out and ask how life is going, help identify the "pebble" and get them back on track to climb that mountain.

I know that I'd be a horrendous emotional wreck if others didn't question my down periods. 

It is tough being viewed as strong all the time.....and I am grateful for those that recognize that strength isn't always in play.

Thanks for continuing to support my blog and my occasional "venting".  Each time I put the words on the page, it is often clearing a pebble - or a rock - out of my path to success.